May 2nd 2020 : Recovery

I am an idiot.

It was more like my anxiety skyrocketed when it comes to trying to solve maths. Especially Algebra. I think I am malfunctioning. I do not want to try and gave up almost indefinitely. Creating excuses and procrastinating.

I felt sorry for everyone who had to witness my nasty teenage moody self yesterday. Especially my grandma who looked particularly excited (though she tried to hide it). But I don't know, I just could not bear with myself. I could not bear with people's attitude who seems to fail understanding our situation when I myself was not being that understanding myself.

You know, there is saying that says, 

"What you hate about others is actually what you hate about yourself. You won't be able to identify that trait if you don't go through it as well."

Or something like that. I am not sure where I heard of that nor when, but it stuck by me for as long as I can remember and made me think twice before blindly decide to hate people.

Anyway, I did something yesterday and it is safe to say that I am safe for now. Hopefully I will learn from this and will get better. 

Yeay to me?